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I’d never thought about this idea that our soul has a name until one day, I pulled a card in my oracle deck, “The secret language of light” by Denise Jarvie. The card’s title is soul name. It reads that we all have a soul name. I did the guided meditation on the card just before going to bed one night and fell asleep curious about myself because of what came through the meditation.

In the meditation, she leads the reader to the door of their heart, and their soul’s name is just above it. I stepped forward and came to the door of my heart. Above the door, I read three words. I did see my soul name, but was that really me? The first two names are Angelica Priestess, and the third is a name that I didn’t know how could be my name. My curiosity lingered in the morning, and I decided to look up the third name. I came across someone from the 1700s. She wrote books and helped children. I was startled because this woman’s life sounded very similar to one of the past lives I remembered. I’m not sure this was a life I’ve lived, but it could be. I want to do a hypnosis session to get more evidence for it.

Over the next couple of weeks, I pondered my past life regressions and visions of other lives I’ve lived. All the while, my business was falling apart, and there was nothing I could do about it. It was an emotionally disturbing time, but my soul wanted me to know more about who I am. Our souls know that we are more extensive and profound and hold more truth than our life circumstances. Everything is happening for us. So when I’m in the receiving mode of all that life has to give me, I listen to whatever messages come my way and see the bigger picture of what is unfolding.

I went to the gym one morning. It was one of my last gym sessions since I was getting ready to move out of my house and go to Maui. It was early morning, so the gym was nice and quiet. I was going to work out, but since the sauna and hot tubs seemed so peaceful and had no one in them, I decided to cold-hot plunge for a while. This was a great stress relief. Working out relieves stress, but hot-cold plunging is a much more mentally soothing way to get stress to leave the body.

After sitting in the sauna for a while, I started praying and meditating, asking for healing guidance in uncertain times. My prayer felt like I was unloading all my worries to my heavenly Father and Mother. I began contemplating my past life again. Earlier that morning, I had listened to a tarot reading on youtube about past lives, and it was spot on with my thoughts when trying to understand this past life. I continued in prayer, hoping I would gain some understanding of everything going on in my life. Through my prayers and emotional purging, I found myself in the cold shower calling out to my soul and spirit team the words, who am I? I thought for a second; I hadn’t asked myself that question in a long time. Then, a scene started coming into my third-eye view, and it was Jesus. He had a set of keys in his hand and handed them to me. I thought I’m about to unlock the answer to the question I just asked. I saw the door to my heart that I had visited during the soul-name meditation. I opened the door and went inside my universe. There were multiple stars representing different lives I’ve lived. I noticed a brighter light towards the center. As I got closer, I saw it was a bright flame. It was me, my eternal soul! I thought I am made of fire! It was an awe-inspiring moment to witness my eternal flame. The creative force of me! I felt like dancing. I am pure creative energy that is capable of anything. There were no blockages or cages around it. It was beautiful and free and supported by a white petal stool. It floated above, in the universe of my heart. It was a potent encounter with my life force energy of pure source. It felt holy, pure, and bright.

This vision felt like an omen of self-realization and of the significant changes taking place in my life this year that are bringing me back to my true nature. It was excellent, too, that this magical moment happened after a year of fitness at the gym and was one of my last times there.

Three and a half months later after the amazing encounter with my heart flame, I’m on my way to Texas to visit my sister, and I’m a little drained, depleted of nutrition and sleep, and not so sure how I feel about my sister living in Texas. She used to live in California. It would be nice to visit her there because that is where all my friends and family are. But, the truth is this was more than a visit. I exhausted my funds from traveling and needed to ground down for a moment and create some income. All my possessions were in the car, so this trip felt like a move, and I knew I did not want to move to Texas!

It was four o clock in the morning, and I finally made it to Texas. I still had six more hours to go, and my moon cycle was coming on. I had slept in the car for only four hours that night and felt exceptionally achy. On the trip, I visited a friend in flagstaff, and fortunately, I asked her for some cannabis. I rarely smoke, but sometimes it’s the perfect thing for road trips. I was stoked that I had something to relieve my body from its aches. The road was a dark two-lane highway, and it had nothing around as far as my eyes could see for a long time, except for the occasional intruding semi that would pass by. I felt a similarity between myself and the dark vast sky around me because of the ungrounding life circumstances I was in. I was traveling through the void in my internal and external world. I turned on Porangui, and the prayer of protection song came on. I gave gratitude for the moment I was experiencing. I wanted to get out of my head and connect to my heart, so I placed a hand on my heart and started the heart breathwork I created. I see my nose and mouth as the snout of a jaguar, and I take deep breaths in and out of the center of my heart. The nose represents power, and when I do this, I feel connected to the power of who I am. That I Am, is in the center of my heart.

The cannabis toke had started to do its work, and I began to see my heart space, and similar to the stars in the sky, I could see the stars in the universe of my heart. I drew closer to the center where my eternal flame is, and as I approached, I saw Kuan yin standing guarding the space of my eternal flame with her love. She was blessing my eternal flame with her passion! I could not believe it. I was like, You’re here! So happy about witnessing her presence, we embraced. As she wraps her arms around me, she lifts me, and we fly together into the sacred universe space of my heart. She points out these different colored sections in my heart’s sky. She points out one red area. She says this is your life. Then we see a yellow section she says this is your existence. She points at a purple area; she says this is your knowledge. Then she told me at a blue section that this is your truth; it needs to shine brighter.

She holds me, and we fly around my heart’s beautiful space. The thought came to me that not everyone would let her into their heart, and I thanked her for finding her way to mine. She said It wasn’t that hard! She is so, so sweet! She holds my heart flame with her infinite love and raises my vibration. I kneel before her and give offerings and thanksgiving for this blessed moment with her. I see that her infinite love is carried forth in all spaces as when I invoke her in my prayer with the lotus mudra and pray that infinite love is found throughout all time and space. Coming back into awareness of my physical body, I notice the flame of my heart grow brighter and more extensive. It starts to consume my entire being and becomes like a slow-spinning torus vortex spiraling out from within and expanding out and around my body about six feet in diameter. A sacred geometry pattern forms, within the spaces of the pattern, are large raindrop shapes with miniature Kuan Yins inside them! Her infinite love blossoms into all space within and around me! I am shocked and feel forever blessed. I am filled with the awareness that infinite loving compassion exists within all parts of my being and everywhere! The sacred geometry pattern surrounding my heart flame extends out further and further, and the raindrops that held Kuan Yin start to multiply and become smaller and smaller as I see her begin to inhabit all spaces. I uphold her space of infinite love and compassion and pay respects to every space on this earth because endless love and compassion dwells there, and it dwells within me.

The soul name card had given me an image of the doorway of my heart. This doorway represented the beginning of so much awakening in my life. Doors are like portals of the callings of our life; if we are curious, we must enter. Questions like what is my soul’s name, and who am I, honor our soul’s desire to be heard. When pondering these questions deeply, we can come to know ourselves and be free of the lies that kept us unknowing. I am so thankful for the ascended Masters in my life who hears my prayers and are helping me walk through doorways to discover the paths of reality I must go down to learn how to be me. Bless you, Holy Mother and Father! And Bless you, Goddess Kuan Yin, for teaching me to stand in my authentic truth.

Love is the eternal flame of all and is inside each one of us. In loving awareness of who we are, we dwell in a sacred space that generates divinity. Kuan Yin wanted me to grasp who I am and who we all are and to see that her infinite loving compassion is everywhere and everywhere I go deserves respect, for the truth of love’s work is there to be found.

We are from the source of all life, which dwells in our hearts. It is pure love. We are pure love. When we remember that this is who we are, we know freedom and unity are our very nature to the core of our beings.

Stepping into The unknown facilitates an opening of the soul, becoming more receptive to the energies of the moon that can help bring about healing.

Did you know that learning everything about your moon’s astrology can give you deep insight into why your emotions are the way they are? The moon’s placement at birth represents how we felt at birth. It is a blueprint of our subconscious emotional patterns throughout our lives.

I learned recently about the Sabian symbol and the inside degrees of my moon’s placement at birth. This degree says, that I feel caught in this fate of fixing the past, being stuck in limbo, learning when to stop and when to go, the power of surrender, and experiencing split-second timing. Learning this was like shining a spotlight on this underlying energy of uneasiness I experienced a lot in my life. I’ve noticed this energy before but identifying it now as a subconscious pattern from a feeling I’ve had since birth has awakened me to why I feel uneasiness and how uncertainty will catapult me into this feeling.

So often, my life has been uncertain because I tend to leave things up to which direction the wind will blow with prayers for guidance, forcing me to learn through experience in conscious and sometimes unconscious ways. Even in these uncertain experiences, I’ve held the faith that one day my dreams will come true.

I’m realizing now how uncertainty leads to growth. It allows the Goddess to move in our lives and show our hearts’ true nature.

It’s a matter of being present and having the desire to dive deep within and ask ourselves questions that we need to answer honestly.

I know this to be certain that if these questions are asked daily, they will give way to gems of sacred knowledge.

Your soul will start operating in whatever ways you allow it to bring you these gems of truth. It’s a matter of being open to the pain, being open to the uncertainty, and genuinely trusting that what your soul has to deliver will bring you guidance, understanding, and, ultimately, freedom from delusional concepts.
This revelation of my subconscious emotions shows me how much I’ve been trying to track forward with thoughts and feelings based on old stories. This feeling of trying to save myself comes from the lives I’ve suffered from persecution.

Everything, all our stories, and experiences are in our DNA, and we bring them into every life we have lived until; eventually, we decide to learn and grow from them and rewrite our story.

From what I’m learning now, we can remember our past with the light of forgiveness to change it and remember it in a new way. This new story of the past can be a story of healing, growth, and a foundational moment of change in our lives.
Many of my old stories of pain and persecution from past lives have been healed due to the illumination of my moon’s guiding light that brings revelation, the release of pint up energy, and ultimately an experience of some kind that had a significant impact of healing.

It is a process that I’m starting to understand of death and rebirth. Part of my moon’s degrees represents divine intervention of salvation from lost and abandoned places.

The moon will take you deep into ancient parts of yourself that need to heal if you let her.

During one of my recent Ayahuasca ceremonies, I saw myself hanging from an old tree in a desert. My work was condemned heretical, so I was hung to die and left alone. I saw my soul leave my hanging body, and because I felt abandoned, it withered in the dust instead of ascending. When having this vision during my ayahuasca ceremony, I knew this to be an opportunity to recover this part of my soul. So I did.

And with all the love and power of my heart, I spoke to this part of my soul buried in the dust by the tree that I hung in and called her up to me.

She hesitated at first, not seeing that I was herself from a higher place. I told her that there is more life to live, that the time is now to receive love and be free, and that she will be accepted. I felt my soul return to me. When I got home after the ceremony, I pulled a card out of one of the Alana Fairchild oracle decks @Alanafairchil.com, which taught me that during the process of soul retrieval, you will begin to experience an old part of yourself and all the talents and character traits that come with that part of yourself.

It is good to be loving and gentle with this new part of yourself that lived a different life so that you can integrate and activate all parts of yourself to function cohesively and in harmony. However, when going through this integration process, there can also be hurt, and pain that arises from that lost life recovered. So it’s essential to love and nurture yourself and to tell yourself you are safe. This is healing.
When working with the moon’s energy, we can spend some time in the deep suppressed lower emotions and sometimes act out from that place, causing experiences that may be unpleasant.

Staying conscious of how the moon operates in your life can help you love yourself through negative impulses. Knowing why you feel a certain way and forgiving yourself and others can help you not get stuck in the deep shadows for too long. It is important to let the emotions be felt but then released in some sort. Everybody has their different ways of releasing. Creative expression is a great way. Prayer is my go-to and is what often works for me.

Telling Spirit my concerns and laying them on the altar of transformation, I leave the problem or the energy and ask to be cleansed in love and joy.

Then, it’s just a matter of complete trust and walking away from the worries, knowing that my prayers are answered. Emotions shape our lives, and if I’m always trying to save myself and fight the victim mentality, then that is the reality I will continue to create.

The moon works in mysterious ways. She is saying, let your dark side teach you and ultimately save you. And when that salvation and healing comes, be free from the past, be free from the fear, and be free from the emotions of it all.
Freedom for me has looked like living my new life entirely differently. Everything I had built around me was based on an unhealed inner child. I decided to move out of my home, sell all my possessions, and move to Maui for a temporary stay. I had barely any money and wasn’t sure where I would stay. Everything was a new experience for me, and this new life of freedom came with a lot of uncertainty.

In her book The Way of the Spiritual Entrepreneur, Pauline Nguyen writes, “One of life’s greatest Joys is that our freedom is determined by the degree to which we can rest in the unknown.”

Reading this was so therapeutic for me. The freedom I desire is my growth edge of feeling inner peace in the unknown. The blessed sacred moon has shown me why I have felt so many intense emotions in the unknown, and my Divine Mother is helping me release the old stories and to live every new experience in my heart’s true nature, allowing the innocent child in me to wonder, laugh, and play. It has been a matter of letting go, paying attention, and receiving.

When working with the moon’s energy, it’s important to remember that she is reflecting the sun’s light. We all have our own personal sun and moon within us. The sun represents your true soul self.

When we want to get in touch with our true soul self, it is time for some much-needed sunlight. I thank Maui for this and am so grateful for the sunlit meditations I experienced on the island.
When I immersed myself in the island’s nature, she relieved my tension and pulled forth my desires from my soul.

After a morning exercise on the beach, I went for a walk along the water. My soul, without any preplanned thought of it, started praying and asking the angels for their cleansing and healing presence. I heard my guides and angles say keep opening, keep expanding, and keep listening. I continued walking and felt my soul light up with the sun. I pictured all my chakras opening up to the sun and the light of my central sun in my solar plexus giving light to all my chakras.

A surge of golden light entered my heart chakra and pushed dark, stagnant, and heavy energy out through my back. My walk had turned into a walking meditation. It was lovely and healing.

My personal planets are my guiding light. The angels of nature and my beloved Mother Goddess are the winds beneath my wings!

Staying in our central truth and the light of our beings, we will align with our destinies, and anything in the way will clear because love never fails.

When we love and appreciate all the guidance that is occurring in and around us through nature, people, etc., we love and appreciate ourselves. Love will retrieve lost parts of our souls, bring us back into wholeness, and allow us to rest in the unknown.

This week there is a partial Lunar Eclipse in Scorpio on October 25th. It is a great time to dive deep into the subconscious and ask ourselves what stories we have told ourselves that have built up walls around our hearts and how we can detach from them.